"Reassurance & Hope Will Get You Through Your Toughest Battles"

This morning I woke up "on the wrong side of the bed." I don't know whether it was the lack of sleep or pure laziness that was causing me to feel so gloomy. I had purposely hit snooze on my alarm clock causing me to be late. For some reason I didn't care, and I just dragged. To make matters worse, when I walked out of the door, it was raining. I rushed inside grabbed an umbrella and rushed to my destination. For some reason, I wasn't in a good mood, and I felt my day getting worse. Soon thoughts of unhappiness and all kinds of negative started to cross my mind. I had to put a stop to the gloominess before it ruined my entire day.

After sitting at work for a few minutes, I realized that I was allowing the devil in. I was allowing him to cause me to doubt. I was allowing him to plant a seed. In the mist of our storms, Satan preys on our weakness. He wants us to have doubt. He wants us to express our feelings of discontent. He wants us to feel gloomy. When we show him these things, it gives him room to come in and create greater disbelief. When Satan does this he affects our faith in God. He doesn't want us to have faith because he knows that our God is powerful and can do all things. Satan knows that he is no match for God, and so he tries to prey on our weaknesses. This is why we have to stay faithful and never allow him to "catch us slipping".

Let me tell you about how I almost slipped. Well, I told you how my day started. I was not in the mood. I started to get angry and wonder when were my prayers going to be answered. I almost felt defeated. I even started to question this journey of doing right. I was like, "Okay I'm trying, but things seemed to be getting worse." I wondered if I should turn back. God loves me and guess what he did. He sent some reassurance. To many it may be small, but it was a simple email. That email gave me hope. You see, God knows when we are getting weak. He sees and appreciates when we are trying hard. God will send reassurance and hope when we feel like giving up.

Lately, I have been noticing God opening doors that give me hope. For instance, it was this house that I fell in love with, but it wasn't a good time to consider buying a home. Well, I started to claim the house and guess what, one day I realized the house was no longer on the market. I was angry because I loved that house. So, I put it in the back of my head because I know he has greater. Well, yesterday I was online and guess what the house is back on the market with a lowered price. No, I'm not about to go out and buy the house, but it just shows that God gives us hope and reassurance when he sees us trying. God loves us and he doesn't want us to hurt.

I call this period I am in a "training camp." I needed to go through this to learn more about myself, which will allow me to learn more about him. It will help me understand my true purpose. At first, I was doing what I thought I should be doing and not what he wanted me to do. It took me being in this "training camp" to learn to be open and ready to listen. I'm not there but I feel a graduation coming soon. I feel something great, and the reassurance he gives daily gives me hope and it also gives me a preview of the greater. So, remember when you are going through your "training camp" stay faithful, and remember that it is okay to feel down sometimes, but pray for reassurance and use that reassurance as hope to get you through.

Are you in control of your emotions?

Tonight, I sat and pondered over a topic. I couldn't settle on one topic initially, but one topic weighed heavily on me. It weighed heavily because I was currently experiencing it. I was experiencing mixed and changing emotions. It seemed that my day started awesome only to end with a gloomy feeling. Sadly, it is normal for many of us to allow our emotions to be all over the place without any attempt to control them. It is okay to show different types of emotions, but it is not okay to allow small, unimportant things to control how we feel.

When we allow different things, (a comment, a text, something someone says, a picture), to cause us to feel a certain way, we are giving away our power to control our emotions. While we can't control what others do, we can control how we react. How we react will determine our emotional state. This means that we should always think about how our actions will affect our emotions. What good comes out of allowing situations and people  to cause us to feely gloomy, angry or sad? Yes, sometimes we will get angry and explode, but we should not allow the same thing to continuously get to us. No situation or person should ever have so much control over you that you can't control your own emotions. Don't give away your power. Instead, be strong and learn when to react and how to react.

Personally, controlling my emotions in certain situations have been very difficult. Sometimes, I would find myself blowing up or crying and later feeling awful because I didn't control how I felt. In some situations I even felt ashamed because I over reacted. Trust me when I say that nothing or no one deserves having the power to control how you will feel or react to situations.

To learn to control my emotions, I started taking a moment to think before I responded. I also started to remove myself from situations and people that seemed to bring out the negative emotions that I hated. Most importantly, I started to take control of my emotions. So, if you don't take anything from this "brief post", remember to think before every action. Think about how you will feel afterwards. Think about the consequences to that action. If the action means giving away control of your personal emotions or compromises you in anyway, do not take part in the action.

Being Thankful in the Mist of the Storm

Today I really struggled on a sub-topic to write about. I debated and debated, until I almost quit the challenge. I thought... would anyone notice if I didn't write today? My conscious told me not to, but I just couldn't think of anything to write about. As I was sitting and thinking I realized that it didn't matter if people noticed. When I decided to take part in the challenge, it was not about people reading the blog (I would like it if they do), but it was about my journey in finding my true purpose and getting close to "MY FATHER", God. So, I decided to stop worrying because I knew that before the night was over I would have the perfect topic.

So, after I left work, I called my mom, which is a ritual. We were talking about so many things, but we started discussing being thankful. I made the statement, "I'm just thankful for a roof over my head, a car to drive, and food to eat. I'm not content, but I am thankful for the things that I do have." I didn't think much of it at the time, but after strolling through facebook I noticed a status on being thankful and humble. At that moment, I realized that I would write about being thankful in the midst of trouble, difficult times, or even a season of waiting. 

I know it is very hard being thankful or happy when you are in the mist of hard times. It seems that all your mind can focus on is the fact that you are not where you want to be. I know the feeling personally because sometimes I sit and think about everything I want, what I want to be doing, or where I want to be going. Sometimes I fail to stop and smell the roses and realize how blessed I am to be where I am, have what I have, and to be doing what I am doing. While I am here complaining and unhappy, there is someone who aspires to be where I am. I think it is very selfish of me or anybody to sit and be ungrateful and not thank God for the things he has provided us with.

One important thing to remember is that someone is always going through something much greater than you are. I know that lately, I have tried very hard to catch myself when I start to form my own pity party and wish that I was here or had this or that. I try to snap out of it and think of all of the things that God has blessed me with. For example, many complain about bills and having to spend most of their funds on those bills. Well, Guess What? There are many without jobs or who have been evicted for no money to pay their bills. It took me seeing others struggle to realize how much God blesses me daily. No, I have not reached all of my goals, and I am not where I desire to be, but I THANK GOD for where I am. When I look at my life, I realize that he blesses me and shows me favor so much. 

So, If you don't take anything from this post, just remember to be thankful. Stop focusing on what you don't have and focus on what you do have. Learn to say Thank You for what you have now, and maybe he will bless you with what you want later. We have to learn to be thankful regardless of our circumstances. 

Why Serve an Eviction Notice if You are Not Going to Remove the Things?

Last year I wrote a blog post titled "Eviction Notice". In that post I discussed how we need to serve some people, emotions, situations, and behaviors eviction notice's. If a person, situation, emotion, or behavior doesn't bring any good or positive to our lives, we need to serve it an eviction notice. Serving an eviction notice is good, but it defeats the purpose when we serve the notice, but still allow the people, emotions, and situations to remain. Just think about it. When a landlord serves an eviction notice, the tenant has a certain amount of time to exit the premises with all of there possessions. If the tenant does not comply, the landlord places the things on the front lawn, not caring what happens to them or he gets them. Well, we need to serve the eviction notice and demand an exit. If there is no voluntary exit, then we need to involuntarily remove the negative vibes, people, emotions, situations, and behaviors.

Serving the eviction notice is only the first step. Many of us, myself included, serve eviction notices, but allow the negative to remain "rent and care free". The eviction notice is only acknowledging that there is a problem. Yes, acknowledging the problem is a great start, but it is not the complete process. After acknowledging the problem, we need to create a plan to eradicate the negative situation, and follow that plan until the situation is gone. Write it down. Put in on paper so that you will see it and can reflect on it. Be honest with your self. Acknowledge the problem and write down what the problem is doing to you.

Next, think about what you need to do to remove the problem. Remember, most times the problem wont go away by just acknowledging it. So, the next step is REMOVAL. It probably would be easy if we could simply pick up our situation and it's things and place it on the lawn, but most of our situations are emotional or mental. These situations require PRAYER AND FAITH!. This means that we need to pray about, ask God to remove it, trust and have faith that he will. When we do this we need to start living like the situation is removed. This shows our faith and trust. Remember, we can't play around with the situation. Pray about it as often as needed. Even speak to the situation. Do whatever it takes to get rid of the negativity. Don't allow the negativity to mooch off of you any longer.

Always remember that as difficult or impossible as it may seem, there is nothing TOO BIG FOR GOD. Allow him to help you remove whatever situation that you have served an eviction notice. We  must also get out of God's way because sometimes we serves notices that we really don't want to serve. We say we want to but we are still having the best time with those negative situations and behaviors. We enjoy allowing the negativity to stay around rent and care free. Now if that's the case don't bother with Removal or Serving the notice. But, if you are serious and fed up with something, SERVE THE NOTICE, DEVELOP A PLAN, PRAY, TRUST, HAVE FAITH, AND ALLOW GOD TO PLACE ALL OF THE NEGATIVE AND UGLY OUT ON THE FRONT LAWN.

0 to 100 really quick!!!

I am a very emotional person. I can go from crying to laughing to anger and back to anger within five minutes. I have realized that I allow situations to take me from zero, a happy calm, to 100, bloody anger really fast. I don't give myself time to process my true feeling or thoughts, I simply explode. Sometimes my explosions cause issues that my heart doesn't really want. I forget everything and everybody and explode. For some reason in the moment I think that my only option is to get what I want to say off of my chest. Afterwards, I can quickly go back to zero. Sadly, I expect everyone else to go back to zero as well. Then it upsets me more when those people don't go back to zero, and hold on to the things that I exploded about.

Exploding and saying nasty and hurtful things isn't helping me on my journey back to myself. It is actually a very nasty trait that stands in the way of my relationship with God. Just imagine if God went from 0 to 100 when I did something. If he did, I would have some very hurt feeling. I am sure that I make him angry often, but he remains the same God. God wants us to follow him and act as he would. God doesn't go around blowing up on people like some erratic person, when he has every right to. Instead, God is so patient, forgiving and kind to us, yet I choose to tell people how I feel despite their feelings.

Blowing up without thinking does two things. First, it hurts the person you blew up on. Most times the people we blow up on, are people that we love. Let's be honest, we don't go around blowing up on strangers (I hope not). Why would we ever want to hurt those we love. Yes, they do things that we don't like, and they may even hurt us, but hurt does not fix hurt. What good does it do me hurting someone who hurt me? Now I only have two hurt people. Why not be the bigger person?

Second, it makes you look and feel worse than you did before you exploded.  I know there have been times that I reacted to something, and afterwards I felt stupid, and I'm sure that I looked crazy. Ten seconds of blowing up can ruin your entire reputation. Why blow up so fast, and later owe everyone apologies or be afraid and embarrassed? I know there have been times that I went from 0 to 100 and afterwards I felt that the situation wasn't that serious. I have allowed my erratic behavior to ruin relationships that I long for now. Why hurt your own feelings?

When someone says or does something that you disagree with, give yourself time to think it over. Don't immediately respond because you may respond out of anger. Use the cooling off period as a time to reflect and decide if the action even deserves a response. Trust me, sometimes the best response is no response at all. Remember, don't ruin relationships or cause hurt by going from 0 to 100 without thinking.

Psalms 39:1-2 I said to myself, “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.”

Pain, Season of PAUSE, Freedom & Advancement!!!!

Today, I attended church and the service was amazing. The atmosphere was uplifting and I truly felt the presence of the holy spirit throughout the entire service. As I listened to the message, the 31 day challenge continuously crossed my mind. I sat thinking, "Okay God what flaws are stopping us from getting closer"? Then the pastor said something that I hadn't really thought about. He stated that after we experience pain, we must go through a season of "PAUSE" before me we move on to advancement. In my notebook, I wrote the words.... PAIN, HEALING, ADVANCEMENT, in bold letters. In that moment I realized that I was allowing past pain, hurt, anger, and trials prevent me from advancing. 

Many of us have experienced some type of pain that we carry around each day. We allow the "luggages of pain, misery, and bitterness" prevent us from growing. We don't enter the season of pause because we don't want to release the baggage. We don't realize that holding on to the baggage does not allow healing. We heal during the season of pause, but if we never let go we can never heal and enter new stages in our lives. After hearing this from the pastor, I realized that I am the cause of some old wounds not healing. I would rather hold on to past hurt than to give the hurt and pain to God. 

1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast our cares on God and he will carry them for us. When we experience pain, trials, and troubling situations, we should give it over to God. What good comes out of carrying around old hurt and pain into our future. We should not allows our scars and battle wounds of yesterday affect our progress and happiness today. God makes it easy for us. He says give me your pain, hurt, and troubles. He doesn't want us to be tied down with it. He wants us to move forward. 

So, when we move forward, we don't and should not automatically go to a season of advancement. Okay, I know this may sound weird. Think about it. If we go from a season of pain directly into a season of advancement without healing, we will ruin it. A season of PAUSE allows time for healing. Healing means that we will get stronger, wiser, happier, and most importantly closer to God. For example, a runner sprint towards the finish line and finishes first. As the crowd goes wild, the runner stops to take a few breaths. She makes her way to the podium to claim her award, but first she takes a couple breaths. Just like that runner we need to take some time to catch some fresh air before claiming our AWARDS. 

She did this, He did this, They did This..... So, What did you do? Taking Ownership

Day 3!!! Flaws that hinder my relationship with God? Hmmm.... After much thought I realized that taking ownership is a big problem. Taking ownership means that you are openly saying that you were wrong in a situation, which can be hard for many. In many situations I have struggled with owning up to my part because I was too prideful or "stubborn" to admit that I had done something wrong. Sometimes we confuse taking ownership with weakness, but we must separate the two.

I know most of us have heard the statement, "when you point the finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you". That's true! When we blame others, we fail to take into account what role we played in the situation. Looking back at my past relationships, friendships, and other situations, I have realized that in many of them I failed to take ownership. I wonder if a simple apology would have saved some of those friendships, relationships, or situations. I allowed my pride and fear of appearing weak get in the way of doing what was right and mature. It is so easy blaming someone else until blaming others become the norm.

Although taking ownership may not eliminate or fix the problem, it shows maturity. Proverbs 28:13 says "whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy." Hiding our transgressions (failing to take ownership) prevent healing and moving forward. Whether we want to admit it or not, when we mishandle situations we don't completely move forward. A part of the situation tends to linger with us like excess baggage. Taking ownership isn't solely about the other person, it is about you as well. Taking ownership gets rid of that excess baggage so that you can go into new friendships, relationships, and situations with a clear mind and heart.

So, the point of this all is to encourage everyone to start taking ownership when they contribute to hurting, offending, or mistreating others. Whether it is something simple or a big blow out, admit your part in it. I'm not saying that you have to be overly consumed with the situation, but admit your wrong and move forward. Remember taking ownership does not equate weakness, it shows maturity. Personally, there are some situations that I have analyzed and realized that I played a part in the demise. So, from this point forward I am going to work hard in taking ownership for my part in situations.