She did this, He did this, They did This..... So, What did you do? Taking Ownership

Day 3!!! Flaws that hinder my relationship with God? Hmmm.... After much thought I realized that taking ownership is a big problem. Taking ownership means that you are openly saying that you were wrong in a situation, which can be hard for many. In many situations I have struggled with owning up to my part because I was too prideful or "stubborn" to admit that I had done something wrong. Sometimes we confuse taking ownership with weakness, but we must separate the two.

I know most of us have heard the statement, "when you point the finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you". That's true! When we blame others, we fail to take into account what role we played in the situation. Looking back at my past relationships, friendships, and other situations, I have realized that in many of them I failed to take ownership. I wonder if a simple apology would have saved some of those friendships, relationships, or situations. I allowed my pride and fear of appearing weak get in the way of doing what was right and mature. It is so easy blaming someone else until blaming others become the norm.

Although taking ownership may not eliminate or fix the problem, it shows maturity. Proverbs 28:13 says "whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy." Hiding our transgressions (failing to take ownership) prevent healing and moving forward. Whether we want to admit it or not, when we mishandle situations we don't completely move forward. A part of the situation tends to linger with us like excess baggage. Taking ownership isn't solely about the other person, it is about you as well. Taking ownership gets rid of that excess baggage so that you can go into new friendships, relationships, and situations with a clear mind and heart.

So, the point of this all is to encourage everyone to start taking ownership when they contribute to hurting, offending, or mistreating others. Whether it is something simple or a big blow out, admit your part in it. I'm not saying that you have to be overly consumed with the situation, but admit your wrong and move forward. Remember taking ownership does not equate weakness, it shows maturity. Personally, there are some situations that I have analyzed and realized that I played a part in the demise. So, from this point forward I am going to work hard in taking ownership for my part in situations.

When Friendly Competition Turns You into a Mean Girl!!!

So, it's day two of the 31 day challenge and after posting the last blog I realized that I failed to clearly state the topic or theme of my blogs. My topic/theme is flaws or situations that hinder my relationship with God. This topic is extremely important for me because in order for me to discover and fulfill my ultimate purpose I have to understand the not so pretty things that get in the way of me being a better me.

On last night while in the shower (yes, I do my best thinking in the shower), I was thinking about what I could possibly write about on day two. The words "Mean Girl" and "Competition" came to mind. The world is filled with competition. Whether it is being competitive on the football field or competing for the highest average in class, competition is everywhere. "Friendly" competition can be good, but when taken to the extreme it can cause jealousy, hatred, anger, and many other negative behaviors or actions. For the most part I think many of us naturally have a competitive nature. Although it is okay to be competitive, there should always be a healthy balance, but that balance may be hard to establish.

So, I know you may be wondering where I am going with this. I promise this post wasn't intended to be a lecture on competition. My problem with competition is that sometimes people, including myself take competition to a different level and into situations where it does not belong. When we get overly competitive we start to envy others, become jealous, bitter, and "plain ole mean".  I have noticed competition turn people into mean girls (and boys), and I must admit that has been me in many situations. The natural competitiveness coupled with the desire to lead has often driven me to have that mean girl mentality. In Luke 22:24-30, the apostles argued about who was the most important. God tells them that "the greatest among them should be like the youngest and the leader should be like the servant." God wants us to understand that being first does not mean you are the best. God wants us to to humbly serve. 

Remember that it is okay to want to be great, but it does not take tearing down and envying others. Also, don't allow success and achievements to cause you to become a "Mean Girl/Boy"; Always remain humble.

I will leave you with this funny story that I ran across. Muhammad Ali, was known for often bragging, "I'm the greatest." Just before take-off on an airline flight, the stewardess reminded Ali to fasten his seatbelt. "Superman don't need no seatbelt," Ali told her. The stewardess retorted, "Superman don't need no airplane, either." Ali fastened his seatbelt. 

Waiting Is Not Always Easy..... The Start of the 31 Day Challenge

Lately, I have been on a journey of discovering my true purpose, and discovering my true purpose means building a closer relationship with God. The journey has been a trying one because I have been faced with many obstacles, trials, and tough situations that have caused me to think "maybe I should turn back". Today, as I was scrolling through facebook I noticed a blog posting by a college friend. In her blog she discussed "The Waiting Place" and how all of us may be experiencing some type of waiting place. She also discussed how she was going to take on the Write31Days challenge. After reading, I decided to join the challenge because I am also in a waiting place. 

On Tuesday at Bible Study we discussed Habakkuk using the topic "It's Gonna Happen". The message was needed because Habakkuk was experiencing many feeling that I am currently feeling. I know many of us, including myself, often wonder why bad things happen to good people or why it seems that evil doers prosper. Sometimes waiting for change seems unbearable, which may cause us to question God. In Habakkuk 1, he is very unhappy with all of the violence, injustice, and wrong doing. He cries out to God and asks him why isn't he helping. God responds by reassuring him that he is going to do something and he is working on something that will amaze and shock him. Habakkuk responds by stating that he will wait for God's answer. 

Just like Habakkuk, many of us often pray to God about situations, thinking that we should get immediate answers. Often we expect God to answer as soon as we call out to him. We have to always remember that God hears our prayer, but sometimes it takes waiting. Waiting requires having faith and trust that God will answer our prayers. Also, we must remember that it may not happen at the time that we expect it to happen. God told Habakkuk to write down the vision and that it was not time for the message to come true, but the time is coming soon. He also told him to be patient and wait for it. 

So, when praying for something don't get discouraged when it seems that God isn't answering on your time. I understand that sometimes you may get flustered, and I think it is okay for you to talk to God about you frustrations. We all need reassurance sometimes. But remember that God wants us to have the desires of our hearts, and sometimes he has something bigger in store for us that requires more time. So, be patient, stay faithful, trust God, and when in doubt talk to God and ask for reassurance. 

Who Said There Couldn't Be Peace After A Storm?

They rushed into the bathroom because that was the only room without windows, so they figured that it would be the safest place to ride out the storm. They listened to the radio broadcast, and from the sound of it the storm was strengthening and getting close. As the storm progressed, their thoughts and emotions began to get the best of them. The wind, rain, thunder, and lightening became increasingly violent, and the family couldn't begin to imagine the damage the storm would cause. They weren't even sure if they would make it out of the storm. After about ten minutes (it felt like hours) the storm passed, and the family exited the bathroom to assess the damage. The storm had caused trees to fall, shingles from the roof to come apart, and a few power lines were down. For some odd reason, the family felt a sense of peace. The storm hadn't completely destroyed their lives like they imagined and at that moment everything was calm. This is how life's trials and tribulations are.


Whether it's a family tragedy, financial struggle, failing marriage, relationship, or friendship, sickness or disease, failing grades, unruly kids, or a combination of trying situations, life can throw some really low blows. We all go through storms much like the one the family experienced. During the storms our emotions are everywhere, our thoughts are scattered, and peace seems impossible. It feels like we have been in the storm forever, and we feel that giving up is the best option. It's also common for us to get angry with God, question God, or give up on trying God during these storms. I know during the mist of my storms I grew angry, bitter, sad, unappreciative, and so much more. I remember going to my special place (the shower) and breaking completely down. For the life of me I didn't understand why I had so many storms. It seemed like one storm would come and when I thought the storm was passing, another storm started. It seemed that my life story would be about storms. On this particular day, I remember talking to God and giving him the complete run down. I was angry and I wanted to know why me. Why did I have to endure such storms and such pain? Why did I have to be in this place? Why couldn't he just bless me with the things that I had asked of him? I just wanted to be successful, a good mom, and live a comfortable life. Was that too much to ask? What had I done to deserve all of this? After leaving the shower I didn't have an answer, and I wasn't seeking one at that point because I was angry.

It wasn't until I realized that I was failing miserably. I wasn't allowing the storm to change me. I wasn't using this time to become stronger. I was waisting time with a pity party. Instead of asking God to give me wisdom to understand my storm, and then strength to get through it, I was getting angry at him for trying to make me a better person. So, I started trying my hardest to remain joyful during my storms. Don't get me wrong, there are still times I feel down or discouraged but I continue pushing and trying. Each day that I try God helps me get through, and he also rewards me. When I stopped complaining and starting using the time to get closer to him, I started to see small blessings that reassured me that Greater was near.

So, I will leave you with this. We have to realize that our trials help mold us into stronger, better, God fearing individuals. We also have to realize that everyone has trials for different reasons. Never compare your trials to the trials or lives of others. Find joy in your trials, and use the time in the storm as a time to grow and become stronger. Most importantly, remember that there is PEACE after the storm.

The FIVE Mile Race!!!!!

Imagine signing up for a 5 mile race that you prepared months for. You are hyped and know that you will master the race. You stand at the starting point and do a few stretches. You overhear others talking about their fears of not finishing and not preparing enough. You laugh because you know that you are more than ready. The gun goes off and you start off strong. You speed pass a little girl in a cute little pink tutu, with an adorable sign that says I heart #143. About a minute later you see a cute little girl in a little pink tutu with a sign that says I heart #143. Another minute passes and you are still running and you see the same thing. Then you realize that you are passing the same thing over and over. You aren’t getting ahead because you race forward only to be thrown back further. You are motivated and you don’t want to give up, so you work harder and harder to finish the race. You see those who didn’t prepare as much in front of you, and you just don’t understand. Then all of a sudden, when you are on the brink of sitting out of the race, you get a boost of energy and you finish the race. This is exactly how life can be when trying to accomplish goals or move forward in situations.

I think most of us can say that we are all works in progress, and we are not where or what we want to be. Some days we take a step forward only for something to happen and it seems that we take 100 steps back. It seems that you will never get to that end of the bumpy, twisting and winding, long road. Although the road seems endless, trust me, you are making some progress. The progression may seem mediocre to you, but it is beneficial. Very often we rush things or make comparisons to other people’s lives or progression. We must learn to focus on ourselves and learn to appreciate our obstacles. Our obstacles build us up. Each time we fall we should always get up and push forward. Getting up and moving forward builds stamina and strength. It gets us further down the bumpy road. Even if we have to start over ten times, each time we get further, and one day we will reach the end.

I am speaking from personal experience. I am not close to being where I aspire to be. I have so many goals and dreams that I think about daily. Some days I feel enthusiastic about them, and some days I feel defeated. Honestly, the defeated days seem to outweigh the enthusiastic days. I am my worst critic, and I often question the methods I have taken, and if I should choose other ways or options, but something in me doesn’t allow it. Today was one of those defeated days and it was mentally, physically, and emotionally crippling. For the life of me, I just couldn’t understand why things weren’t happening. Just like the person in the race, I had prepared (OVER PREPARED), and it seems that I am seeing the same little girl and sign every few minutes. Today, I was at the point of saying okay, let’s try something else, but I realize that things aren’t that bad. I am confident that things will turn around. I am confident that my hard will pay off. Although I can’t see it, feel it, hear it, smell it, or even imagine it, I know that the end of the race is near.

So, I encourage you to put on the biggest smile and each time you pass that cute little girl with the pink tutu and adorable sign, waive and say that the end is near, and you are not giving up.

The Day Facebook Taught Me a Life Lesson

I know when many of us log into Facebook, we are hit with pictures, statuses, happiness, conflict, arguments, laughter, and pretty much anything you can imagine. Sometimes those pictures and statuses make you question your current situation, your status in life, or even decisions that you make. Whether you want to admit it or not, Facebook has some sort of impact over you, whether positive or negative. Well, personally I enjoy seeing the pictures, successes, and accomplishments of others. It gives me a sense of confidence, drive, and hope. On the flip side it also gives me anxiety. What I mean when I say it gives me anxiety, is that it pushes me to move at a faster pace. It makes me push for my dreams harder, and to make them come to pass faster. Although this can be good, it can also be a bad thing because I begin to put deadlines on things that I was once showing patience for. I realized that I was giving God a deadline, and stressing because he wasn’t listening to my requested deadlines. I would become frustrated when something didn’t happen when I wanted or how I wanted until it was almost paralyzing. I just couldn’t understand why things couldn’t happen how I wanted them to happen.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am OCD when it comes to planning things. I am always planning parties, dinners for the next couple of months, vacation ideas with itineraries, weddings, business ventures, and everything else. So, I think you can imagine how disappointed I am when things don’t go according to the plan that I work day in and day out on. I almost act like a toddler having a temper tantrum when things aren’t going how I planned. To get over my feelings of disappointment I read, write, and listen to motivational music. I ran across something that stated that we have to learn to be content in our current state. When we are thankful for where we are, God can bless us with the desires of our heart. I understood what the statement was asking, but I didn’t know how to do it. I know many of us are guilty of this because life can throw some really low blows. Sometimes it is one low blow after another. So, many of us wonder how is it possible to be happy when we are dealing with so much stress and adversity. Trust me I understand that it is easier said than done.

It wasn’t until today, that I understood how I could show God my appreciation for where I am today, despite whatever I am dealing with. And guess where the lesson came from? It came from Facebook. I had been reading about a precious little girl who was dealing with some medical issues. Looking at her beautiful pictures and the strength that her and her parents exhibited was amazing. Each day they thanked God for his blessings and waited patiently for his favor. On today, I read an update and it broke my heart. The amazing little girl was now fighting for her life, and the family still depended on God to see them through. As I sat in tears praying hard for the little angel to pull through and for God to make a miracle happen, I realized the statement’s true meaning and how I was supposed to do it.

I realized that different people have different obstacles and trials. My trials may be nothing to the next person. Here I am selfishly being disappointed when there is someone facing so much more. I realized that even if God doesn’t meet my deadlines or give me what I have asked, I know that he has a plan for me. It’s time that I stop focusing on what I want, and start living like someone who God is blessing each day because he is. The lesson from all of this is to appreciate what you have and where you are. Don’t allow other people’s successes, fantasies, accomplishments, or fairytales cause you to forget the bigger picture. Remember that each day is a blessing, and learn to appreciate it. When you do this, life will be soooo much better.

I also ask that you pray for the precious little girl and her family as well. While I want go into detail or disclose her name, I ask that you pray that God comforts her, heels her, and gives her the peace that she deserves.

Praying for a 100 pound blessing, but only prepared to carry a 50 pound blessing

Last night I went to bed angry, although I know I should have prayed about the situation and went to bed peacefully. I let my frustrations control my emotions. Guess what? I woke up angry. I couldn't shake my anger and it felt overwhelming. I knew that I needed some time alone with God because I had to shake this feeling before I allowed it to ruin my entire day and possibly somebody else's day.

So, when I made it to work I couldn't get started on my tasks because my mind was in a million places. I put my earphones in and started to listen to Joel Osteen sermons. It wasn't working and I was getting angrier and angrier, until one sermon caught my attention. I listened and one thing struck me. He said that "we often pray for 100 pound blessings, when we are only prepared to carry 50 pound blessings." If he gives us the 100 pound blessing that we are not prepared for, it will become a burden. This is so true. We ask God for the world, but we are not really prepared to have the world. I realized that I have been asking God for all of these huge blessings, but I haven't finished preparing to receive it.

My preparation has come in the form of small tests and frustrations. God hasn't taken away the frustrations because he wants me to continue to work hard despite the trials. He wants me to be my very best despite my circumstances. He has given me the strength to endure the test and trials, but yet I get angry because I have to go through it. I should stop pouting and being angry that I have to face these tests and trials, and go through it knowing that God has given me the strength.

There are some things that God has placed on my heart to do, but I put them on the back burner because I was focused on being blessed with things that I had been praying diligently for. I know that many of us are guilty of saying things like, "God if you bless me with this I will do this." I know I do. It doesn't work that way. God wants us to do the work to gain spiritual strength. So, now I know that instead of being frustrated about the small tests and frustrations in my life, I should be focusing on being a blessing to others. I will start following and being obedient to the things that he is placing on my heart.

So the point of this is to encourage you to obey God, and go through the tests and trials. He is only preparing you for that 100 pound blessing that you are asking for.