Darkness is not always the ENEMY!

All of us have had times in our life that we felt that everything was going wrong. It seemed that nothing would go right. You woke up late for work and the car would not start. You received a phone call from school and your child is acting up. A family member or close friend is sick. You go to purchase something and find that your account is in the negative. Your boss and coworkers are nagging you about an upcoming deadline. It seems that you are taking blow after blow, and each blow feels stronger than the one before. You may be saying "Just knock me out already." Although it may seem that your home, work environment, relationships, and/or finances are chaotic, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

I know, I know the saying "There is light at the end of the tunnel" is just words, but it is very true and reassuring. Times of darkness is where we gain our strength. Sounds crazy, huh? Think about it. When we take one blow after another, we often feel defeated. However, it takes strength to overcome the most trying times. Each time you pick yourself up, you are becoming stronger and wiser. When the load you are carrying gets heavier, you find strength to take a few more steps. It takes strength to press on when you feel broken mentally, emotionally, or physically.

This is why we should learn to praise God even more during our darkest hours. The dark periods is  where we gain muscle. God uses us during these times to better ourselves. When we are in the darkness we pray more often and harder. By no means am I saying that we should only pray when things are bad, but it is natural to pray more often and harder during bad times. We should use the time of darkness to ask God to reveal our purpose and work toward fulfilling it.

I understand it's hard because I am currently in my period of darkness. There were days that all I wanted to do was stay in bed and eat blue bell ice cream. Some days I did just that. Some days I walked around like a zombie, just going through the strokes. Some days I felt ok, but then I would break down suddenly into tears. There were days I felt like I could not breathe. But I realized that I was being the most dramatic and selfish person ever. I was being so selfish feeling sorry for myself, and for thinking that I should not have to go through a dark point. How could God ever work on me if things were always good. God was constantly revealing my purpose, but I was to stubborn to listen. Now I am listening. I choose to spend my times of darkness helping others through theirs. I know the blessings and breakthroughs are near.

So, remember to treat you darkest hours as you greatest hours. Pray harder than you ever have and lean on God when you feel weak. Don't sit around in self-pity, get up and use the time to become a better you because the darkness will soon pass.

Writing Is My Therapy!!!

I have found that writing is my therapy, and this morning I could do nothing but pray and write. When my brother and I was younger my mom always told us that "ALL WE HAD WAS EACH OTHER". She always stressed how if something were to happen to her that we should always depend on each other and be there for each other. We took this statement very seriously, I know I did. Growing up and still to this day, my mom would get mad at one of us and try to convince the other to talk to the one she is mad at. We would talk to each other, but we always sided with each other. We sided with each other because when everyone in the world misunderstood something we said or did, we could always count on each other to understand and not judge.

My brother and  I have a bond that is really not explainable. I feel that our hearts are in rhythm and we have a connection that they say twins have. Although he is currently miles away, my heart aches when his heart aches, and I seem to feel every emotion he feels. I can honestly say that he is the first guy that I truly loved. Sadly, the purpose of this article isn't to discuss the closeness of my brother and I, but to clear my head to be a support system for him. This morning my heart hurts for him as he is dealing with the loss of his first and only child. He isn't one to share his emotions openly, and I know its very tough for him. I am so used to being able to provide some type of help or assistance, but I am so angry because this is one situation that I can't fix. I am lost for words or clarity.

Like me, I know he felt that his son was the only thing going good, when all else seemed to be crashing down. And now this happens. I know you are never supposed to question God (and I will not) , but I can't get a grip on this one. I can't wrap my hands around it. I don't know the purpose or result of it all, but I just pray for strength to help him through it all. I always try to leave those who read my blog with some type of encouragement or purpose of the blog post, but this morning the message isn't all that clear.  If I had to say anything, it would be to never take any day for granted. Rest in heaven JACOB, your aunt loves you deeply!!!

You're Never too Old for a TIME OUT!!!

It appeared to be a normal day. A mother watched as her young son played in the yard. He was happy to be outside and she enjoyed the fresh air. Everything seemed calm, and it felt great to relax and enjoy the beautiful day. At that moment, her son began to play in a puddle of water in the yard, but it was not an ordinary puddle. He immediately began to sink. The mother rushed over and attempted to grab him, but she missed him. The second time she grabbed and pulled him out. The mother began to perform CPR. All of a sudden I woke up in a panic. I looked over at my son and he was sleeping peacefully. I grabbed my phone to look up the meaning of the dream. I had to decode the dream or get some insight. I quickly learned that drowning represented being overwhelmed. The child is a symbol of something that you value that is causing the feeling of being overwhelmed. Immediately, I knew that it was time to put myself in time out. I know it sounds crazy, but keep reading.

Imagine, at your present age, your mother, father, boss, or whomever telling you to go to timeout and stay there until you have learned your lesson. Will you stomp away to the corner like a 2 year old? Will you resist and be forced into the corner? Will you quietly go to the corner, and reflect on what you have done? Many of us may think that we are too old to be told to go to time out, but in reality sometimes we need a time out from all of life's troubles.

A timeout can come in different forms. It doesn't have to be sitting in a corner or sitting in a room alone. It can be a day of doing nothing, a hour of exercise or meditation, a lunch date with an old friend, or whatever will allow you to forget life's woes for a moment. I know the thought of a time out seems impossible for some, but it is very necessary. Trust me, I am very guilty of trying to use every minute of the day doing something other than having that time out. I try to be supermom, super-friend, super-employee, and super-student everyday. I wear many different capes every single day. But, Guess What? What will I have left for self when I get done being a superhero for everyone and every situation.

So, take time for yourself everyday. It doesn't matter if it's ten minutes. Give yourself that much needed time alone. I promise you fighting the villains and slaying dragons can wait. Whether you have to stomp to time out, be dragged to time out, or go peace peacefully, make it an everyday thing. You will find that time away from every day problems or tasks is so fulfilling. Now go to TIME OUT!

Masked: What Mask Do You Wear?

A young CEO walked to her car. It was cold and dark; she didn’t realize she had worked that late. The young CEO had worked very hard to get to where she was, and everyone always told her how good of job she had done or how proud they were of her. The young CEO was thankful for the comments, but deep down she couldn’t be flattered. Yes, she had worked hard but she was guilty of using her work to hide some of her insecurities. Instead of dealing with them she buried herself in her work and success. Many people saw her as this powerful, confident, and successful young CEO. Although she was all of those things, she was haunted by her insecurities. She used her accomplishments as a shield or a mask. Are you guilty of wearing a mask?

A mask can be many different things. It can be success, work, fashion, sports, food, or whatever one may use to hide what they are not proud of. Our insecurities are what we consider flaws. Often we are so critical of ourselves and find the smallest thing to call a flaw. We take the flaw and make it bigger than it really is. We give that flaw or imperfection life, not realizing that it’s probably not that big of a deal. We try to mask the flaw from the world, when in reality others may not notice it.

We find ourselves doing everything to get rid of this flaw. When we can’t get rid of the flaw, we decide that we will cover it up by indulging in or shining the light on something else.  We become determined to show people that mask only. We want people to see what we are good at or what we are proud of. We don’t want them to see what is giving us pause or troubling us.

Recently, I got sick of wearing my mask. The mask was suffocating me. It was no longer curing my problem or giving me that quick fix. I can identify with that young CEO because I buried myself in my work, studies, and desire to become successful. I realized that I had carried around an insecurity from a young age. That insecurity was my driving force for so long. Some may say, well that’s a good thing if it motivated you to accomplish things. That is not true. That insecurity drove me to cover up a problem that I should have faced years ago.

All of us have something that we think we could master, but there are some things that intimidate us or make us feel inferior. It is common to develop insecurities at an early age and allow the insecurities to grow with us as we age. We find ourselves saying things like: I may not be good at this, but I am the best at this, I will never be able to do that, let me find something I am good at. My point is, it is ok to be great at whatever one wants to be great at, but do not use it as a mask to cover up insecurities. Lift the MASK and embrace the insecurity, you may be surprised at how others view it or who may be dealing with the same situation.

Eviction Notice

After a long and frustrating day, a single mother of two, returns home only to find a note posted on her door. For a second, the world stops, but she quickly snaps out of the daze. She knows exactly what the note says, but she can’t take the note because her arms and hands are stuck to her side. The last few months had been rough, finances low, and tons of chaos. Finally, she builds enough courage to take the letter and read it. IT’S AN EVICTION NOTICE.

Many of us are guilty of dealing with situations on a day-to-day basis that deserve an eviction notice. It can be a bad habit, unhealthy relationship, obsession, or whatever may be causing constant stress or fear. We make situations and issues a priority when they are really not that important. Sometimes we know the solution to a problem that has been plaguing us for so long, but we let fear control our actions and decisions.

Like landlords, when a tenant does not pay rent or violates the lease agreement in any way the landlord evicts the tenant, we should do the same. I know I have dragged around unnecessary baggage, and one day I would realize that I didn’t need or have to keep dragging the baggage around. The relief one feels when they evict something that has been terrorizing them for so long. It’s not okay to allow fear, obsession, insecurity, an unhealthy relationship (friendship or significant other), or anything cause disruptions in our life. Think about it. Is that situation worth your happiness, well-being, or sanity? Does the situation deserve your valuable time?

Trust me, I understand it’s not always black and white. Sometimes there may be a grey area. It is not always easy to get out of a situation, but there is always a solution. And just as eviction is a process, leaving a situation or fixing a problem is a process. The process starts with acknowledgement. We should acknowledge anything in our lives that is unhealthy, causing anxiety or stress, and taking away our valuable time and energy. After acknowledgement we need to brainstorm or plan. Think about what makes you happy and what will bring positive to your life. Last, be courageous and step out on faith.

So, make the pledge to serve every problem, shortcoming, fear, obstacle, or issue with its’ well deserved EVICTION NOTICE. I am. 

Temporary versus Permanent

What is temporary? What is permanent? Are the two terms the same or are they different? So, I type temporary into Google. Google says temporary means lasting only a limited period of time; not permanent. Ok, so what is permanent? Google defines permanent as lasting or intended to last or remain unchanged indefinitely. Now that I look at each word they are completely different.

So, the point of this is not a vocabulary lesson. The point of explaining or defining the terms is to show that a person’s temporary (current) situation does not mean that it is the person’s permanent (future) situation. Many of us, including myself, become frustrated with life’s trials and treat our temporary situation as we would a situation of permanency. Yes, many of us dream of the cliché’ American Dream. I dream and hope for it myself. There is nothing wrong with wanting a happy marriage, nice house, nice car, beautiful family, dream career, financial stability, and even a family dog. However, we must face reality and not pretend as if our now situation is our future situation. Trust me, it’s ok to be unhappy with your current situation. Many of us are.

Speaking for myself, I am not where I dream of being. I struggle just like many, but it is OK. Many mornings I wake up and wonder “how did I get through yesterday?” I can only thank GOD for his many blessings and allowing me to get through my temporary trials, slip ups, misfortunes, or whatever we may call them. It took me some time to learn that the temporary predicaments were not necessarily a foreshadowing of what my future would entail.

Now that I have identified the type of situation, what do I do to get to the permanent? I strongly believe enduring the temporary and working through it is preparation for the permanent. Whether it’s school, a job, counseling, rehabilitation, or whatever else, we are being prepared for the next things to come. This may not seem like much motivation, but knowing this was and is everything to me. There were so many times I wanted to give up because I was just so tired of the obstacles and hard times. I wanted to get to the end immediately. I was tired of working toward this American Dream that appeared to be running away from me. I wanted to take it, (the American Dream) tie it up, and never let go.

Guess What? I’m being selfish. I am ignoring what God is doing and has done and asking him to drop something in my lap that he is not done molding me for. I am asking for something that I am not ready for. If he gives it to me today, what will I do with it? Would I forget my past struggle? Will I condemn others? Will I forget who gave me this blessing? I am currently “a work in progress.” I am being molded. I have been given opportunity after opportunity to get to the Great Ending (I refuse to say perfect). Each day a new door opens and a new leaf turns. I’m not there, but I am getting closer. Soon that American Dream will be too tired to run away from me. And GUESS what? I will be slimmer, faster, smarter, and prepared to capture it and embrace it. Until then I’ll allow myself time to prepare for that AWESOME DAY.