Masked: What Mask Do You Wear?

A young CEO walked to her car. It was cold and dark; she didn’t realize she had worked that late. The young CEO had worked very hard to get to where she was, and everyone always told her how good of job she had done or how proud they were of her. The young CEO was thankful for the comments, but deep down she couldn’t be flattered. Yes, she had worked hard but she was guilty of using her work to hide some of her insecurities. Instead of dealing with them she buried herself in her work and success. Many people saw her as this powerful, confident, and successful young CEO. Although she was all of those things, she was haunted by her insecurities. She used her accomplishments as a shield or a mask. Are you guilty of wearing a mask?

A mask can be many different things. It can be success, work, fashion, sports, food, or whatever one may use to hide what they are not proud of. Our insecurities are what we consider flaws. Often we are so critical of ourselves and find the smallest thing to call a flaw. We take the flaw and make it bigger than it really is. We give that flaw or imperfection life, not realizing that it’s probably not that big of a deal. We try to mask the flaw from the world, when in reality others may not notice it.

We find ourselves doing everything to get rid of this flaw. When we can’t get rid of the flaw, we decide that we will cover it up by indulging in or shining the light on something else.  We become determined to show people that mask only. We want people to see what we are good at or what we are proud of. We don’t want them to see what is giving us pause or troubling us.

Recently, I got sick of wearing my mask. The mask was suffocating me. It was no longer curing my problem or giving me that quick fix. I can identify with that young CEO because I buried myself in my work, studies, and desire to become successful. I realized that I had carried around an insecurity from a young age. That insecurity was my driving force for so long. Some may say, well that’s a good thing if it motivated you to accomplish things. That is not true. That insecurity drove me to cover up a problem that I should have faced years ago.

All of us have something that we think we could master, but there are some things that intimidate us or make us feel inferior. It is common to develop insecurities at an early age and allow the insecurities to grow with us as we age. We find ourselves saying things like: I may not be good at this, but I am the best at this, I will never be able to do that, let me find something I am good at. My point is, it is ok to be great at whatever one wants to be great at, but do not use it as a mask to cover up insecurities. Lift the MASK and embrace the insecurity, you may be surprised at how others view it or who may be dealing with the same situation.

Eviction Notice

After a long and frustrating day, a single mother of two, returns home only to find a note posted on her door. For a second, the world stops, but she quickly snaps out of the daze. She knows exactly what the note says, but she can’t take the note because her arms and hands are stuck to her side. The last few months had been rough, finances low, and tons of chaos. Finally, she builds enough courage to take the letter and read it. IT’S AN EVICTION NOTICE.

Many of us are guilty of dealing with situations on a day-to-day basis that deserve an eviction notice. It can be a bad habit, unhealthy relationship, obsession, or whatever may be causing constant stress or fear. We make situations and issues a priority when they are really not that important. Sometimes we know the solution to a problem that has been plaguing us for so long, but we let fear control our actions and decisions.

Like landlords, when a tenant does not pay rent or violates the lease agreement in any way the landlord evicts the tenant, we should do the same. I know I have dragged around unnecessary baggage, and one day I would realize that I didn’t need or have to keep dragging the baggage around. The relief one feels when they evict something that has been terrorizing them for so long. It’s not okay to allow fear, obsession, insecurity, an unhealthy relationship (friendship or significant other), or anything cause disruptions in our life. Think about it. Is that situation worth your happiness, well-being, or sanity? Does the situation deserve your valuable time?

Trust me, I understand it’s not always black and white. Sometimes there may be a grey area. It is not always easy to get out of a situation, but there is always a solution. And just as eviction is a process, leaving a situation or fixing a problem is a process. The process starts with acknowledgement. We should acknowledge anything in our lives that is unhealthy, causing anxiety or stress, and taking away our valuable time and energy. After acknowledgement we need to brainstorm or plan. Think about what makes you happy and what will bring positive to your life. Last, be courageous and step out on faith.

So, make the pledge to serve every problem, shortcoming, fear, obstacle, or issue with its’ well deserved EVICTION NOTICE. I am. 

Temporary versus Permanent

What is temporary? What is permanent? Are the two terms the same or are they different? So, I type temporary into Google. Google says temporary means lasting only a limited period of time; not permanent. Ok, so what is permanent? Google defines permanent as lasting or intended to last or remain unchanged indefinitely. Now that I look at each word they are completely different.

So, the point of this is not a vocabulary lesson. The point of explaining or defining the terms is to show that a person’s temporary (current) situation does not mean that it is the person’s permanent (future) situation. Many of us, including myself, become frustrated with life’s trials and treat our temporary situation as we would a situation of permanency. Yes, many of us dream of the cliché’ American Dream. I dream and hope for it myself. There is nothing wrong with wanting a happy marriage, nice house, nice car, beautiful family, dream career, financial stability, and even a family dog. However, we must face reality and not pretend as if our now situation is our future situation. Trust me, it’s ok to be unhappy with your current situation. Many of us are.

Speaking for myself, I am not where I dream of being. I struggle just like many, but it is OK. Many mornings I wake up and wonder “how did I get through yesterday?” I can only thank GOD for his many blessings and allowing me to get through my temporary trials, slip ups, misfortunes, or whatever we may call them. It took me some time to learn that the temporary predicaments were not necessarily a foreshadowing of what my future would entail.

Now that I have identified the type of situation, what do I do to get to the permanent? I strongly believe enduring the temporary and working through it is preparation for the permanent. Whether it’s school, a job, counseling, rehabilitation, or whatever else, we are being prepared for the next things to come. This may not seem like much motivation, but knowing this was and is everything to me. There were so many times I wanted to give up because I was just so tired of the obstacles and hard times. I wanted to get to the end immediately. I was tired of working toward this American Dream that appeared to be running away from me. I wanted to take it, (the American Dream) tie it up, and never let go.

Guess What? I’m being selfish. I am ignoring what God is doing and has done and asking him to drop something in my lap that he is not done molding me for. I am asking for something that I am not ready for. If he gives it to me today, what will I do with it? Would I forget my past struggle? Will I condemn others? Will I forget who gave me this blessing? I am currently “a work in progress.” I am being molded. I have been given opportunity after opportunity to get to the Great Ending (I refuse to say perfect). Each day a new door opens and a new leaf turns. I’m not there, but I am getting closer. Soon that American Dream will be too tired to run away from me. And GUESS what? I will be slimmer, faster, smarter, and prepared to capture it and embrace it. Until then I’ll allow myself time to prepare for that AWESOME DAY.