Walking Away Is Not About You, It’s About Me

Walking away does not mean that I don’t love you. Walking away does not mean that I don’t care. Walking away doesn’t mean that I want miss you. Walking away does not mean that I am angry. Walking away does not mean that I am abandoning you. Walking away does not mean that I don’t wish the best for you. Walking away simply means that I love “me” more. It means that I need “me” more. Walking away may hurt, offend, or make you angry, but me walking away is not about you. It’s about me and what I need.

Think about it. Many of us are fixers by nature. We think that we can fix everything and everybody. We give 100% of ourselves to other people and situations. If they need it, we will give it. We run around being Olivia Pope for everyone, but ourselves. We give, fix, give, fix, give, and fix. Sadly, when we need the same thing from the very people that we have played Olivia Pope to, we don’t get it in return. I’m not saying that the person or people don’t want to help. In some cases they probably can’t help. My point is that you should never give so much until you have nothing left to give to yourself.

Fixers don’t only give material things. Fixers give away time, dedication, emotional support, encouragement, blood, sweat, and tears. Fixers give away things that they can’t get back. After you have invested your time, emotions, blood, sweat and tears you will never get it back. It’s gone. A fixer wants the best for people that they love. They want to help others become the best that they can be, so it is natural for a fixer to come to the rescue when called on. Fixers go beyond just helping. Fixers normally take on the project and they often make it their own. The problem or situation becomes the fixer’s problem or situation. All of this okay, but there should be limitations. When you find yourself emotionally and mentally drained from being the hero all the time, it’s time to walk away. It’s time to detach from the situation and focus on the person that matters the most. It’s time to focus on you.

Think about it. What is the benefit of giving everything you have to someone causing you to rob yourself of everything? So, are you really willing to give all of your gas away to fill up someone else’s tank, but leave your  tank on empty. When you give, give, give, and give that is exactly what you are doing. To make matters worse, when you fill up their tank for so long, you will soon be unable to fill up your own tank. I completely understand helping and being there for others but you have to save and preserve some things for yourself. Be selfish. Be stingy as they kids say. Sharing is good, but sometimes you just don’t have enough to share.

When I walk away, people have to understand that it is not about them. It’s all about me and my needs. It’s about my emotional state. It’s about my hopes and desires. Walking away has no bearing on how I feel about anyone. Even if I walked away after a big blow up, it’s still not about you. Walking away is about preserving the gas that I have left. Walking away is to fulfill my passions, desires, goals, and dreams. Walking away is for my sanity.

So, if you don’t get anything from this post, remember that sometimes you need to walk away. Don’t argue, fuss, make a scene, or get ugly. SIMPLY, WALK AWAY!!!!! WALK AWAY. If you have to walk fast, jog, or even run, detach yourself. NEVER give up all you have and not be able to give to yourself.  You can love people and help them, but you have to love yourself first and more. If a person ever questions you about walking away, tell them that WALKING AWAY DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU DON’T LOVE THEM, IT MEANS THAT YOU LOVE YOU MORE.